They say motherhood changes a woman. My wife isn’t technically a mother yet (although she might be by the time this article is published!), but I’ve already noticed some disturbing changes.
I’ve noticed that my wife has become much more critical of me and the things I do. She is more demanding. She has started to boss me around quite a bit. It is making me very uneasy and worried about the future.
Is this just a phase? Will she grow out of it? It is from her hormones going nuts? Will she be critical of the baby and our children? What happens if I approach her about it?
I can’t really answer those questions except the last one….so I decided to try. A few days ago I was giving my dog some antibiotics for an infection. She proceeded to tear into me for the way I was giving him pills. I’ve been giving my dog pills for 8 years, and never have any issues. Suddenly she decided I wasn’t doing it right.
I told her I didn’t appreciate how critical she was being; that she is being critical much more frequently than normal. She immediately went on the defensive. I expected this. I kept my cool. I explained my situation as calmly as possible. The last thing I want to do is get into a fight with my pregnant wife.
After a short discussion, I presented a few items from the last week where she was extra critical of me. How I was taking out the trash. How I was giving the dog his medicine. How I drive my car. Where I park. You get the idea. She couldn’t refute the evidence.
She thought about it for a few moments. Since I had remained calm, so did she. We didn’t escalate the situation. She said she understood and that was the end of the conversation.
Did it change her actions? I think it did. She has improved significantly. I can’t say if she is proactively trying to do better or if it was just a phase. Maybe she was just looking for more attention and interaction with me. Pregnant women tend to crave the attention of their partner in the last few weeks.
So why was my wife more critical of me in the last few weeks of pregnancy? I don’t know. No one does. But numerous studies have shown that women become more critical after having children. There are tons and tons and tons of stories and articles about critical mothers.
Just like everything in your relationship, don’t let it get out of hand. Confront the issue you are facing. Have a rational discussion. You can agree to disagree, but try to actively work towards a solution. Communication is the key, and will be put to the test.
Have you experienced any issues with your critical wife during or after pregnancy?